Comedy HAtline

Just got a call from a blocked number. I always answer those cuz, ya never know, could be the FBI or something. To my surprise there was a person on the other line who introduced himself as “John” which I felt was a lie. He said, “I’m feeling depressed, can you tell me a joke to cheer me up?” I was kinda freaked out. Heart began racing as it felt like a prank phone call, or worse—someone’s life depended on my telling a good joke. Without hesitation I went with one of my go-to street jokes (as a comedian people spontaneously ask you to tell them a joke at any given moment—some comics hate this and get frustrated responding “I don’t tell you to do YOUR job when you’re not working” or something unfunny like that—I’ve grown to expect it. I’m generally eager to please so I come through for them, but never use my own material in such situations as that’s way too dangerous. Anyway, my joke worked and I heard both “John” and a now-revealed friend of his start laughing. I felt a sigh of relief. Then I asked if he knew me, he said no. I asked how he got my number, he said, “This is a comedy club right?” My number is attached to the Yelp page of a comedy show I sometimes produce in the Bay Area, so, I was no longer fearing for my life at this point. Naturally he demanded another joke, for which I was readily prepared. They laughed again, said thanks and hung up. I now consider the possibilities of a call-in comedy hotline. “Need a laugh? Call this number!” It could save lives.. If anyone wants to do all the work to make this HA-tline happen, please do and give me an inspiration credit on all official paperwork.