Mr. Larson

Subbing at a high school, sitting alone in the classroom during one of the teacher’s off periods. Mindin’ my own damn business. When suddenly … SUDDENLY … I hear from the hallway: “Mr. Larson?!?”

I’d subbed there before, in the classroom just next door actually. It’d been a few months. Thought I was long forgotten, though I was there for four consecutive days.

“Mr. Larson’s here!” some kid exclaimed as he jogged toward me with a smile only wider than his outstretched arms. 10 seconds ago I was peacefully browsing Reddit on my phone in a comfortable office chair. Now? I’m hesitantly reciprocating affection to some 10th grader looming over me for the most awkward hug in the world. He runs off to get his friends.

In the distance I hear “Mr. Larson” spouted several times. A girl runs out and says “OMG!” and tells the other students not to tell Jamiroquai (name changed to protect student’s identity), they said not to tell him because he still talks about me almost everyday.. weird..

Anyway they all go to class and I’m alone again.

5 minutes later three vaguely familiar faces come in and I get an unexpected group hug. “Hey guys…” I said, turning back on to teacher mode and getting my mind of the addiction that is Reddit’s front page. They all start talking at once, I cut them off “Shouldn’t you be in class?!?” to which one of them responds, “Our teacher literally said: If you’re done with your work you can either play on your phone, do other classwork, or go see Mr. Larson.” Woah. GREAT. Now we’re hanging out. Which was fine actually, they’re good kids and it was fun being cool in high school for the first time in my life.

They left. Next class came in and I was totes confident that I’m the coolest sub they’ll every experience.

I let them watch a family friendly movie on Netflix, meanwhile two other students kept conjuring up conspiracy theories connecting me to the illuminati, meanwhile other students kept asking questions about my beard such as how long I’ve been growing it, pointing out the odd white patch you’ve all consciously ignored while talking to me—not all actually, most of you feel the need to remind me that it’s there, just like the high schoolers—and they even asked HOW I grew my beard to which I responded: by doing absolutely nothing, of course.. that’s the only way I seem to get anything done *sad bear meme*.

Long story short: I’ve had worse days.