Too Many Things

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There’s too much entertainment. Too much! I can’t keep up.. Too many TV shows especially. Movies I haven’t seen I can deal with, but catching up with 7 seasons of Lost and 5 seasons of Mad Men and 3 seasons of Game of Thrones … that’s like a year’s worth of free time right there. I went on a date with a girl once and all she had to talk about were the shows she watched. She literally went home from work and binged on Netflix until she passed out to wake the next day and repeat, unless it’s the weekend in which case more Arrested Development—a series she’d seen all the way through at least three times. All I can remember from that date—YES a Tinder date and stop judging! It’s the new norm. Get with it.—all I remember is her obsession with TV and her oddly pale skin, like she hadn’t seen the sun in 30 pilot seasons or something..

Now….I know there’s some of you out there that can relate to this girl. I’m not judging, BUT… it’s just… so much time! In retrospect I do waste a LOT of time that could be better spent watching something that I can later converse with other human beings about, but my scattered constant procrastination habits allow me to do nonproductive things while still feeling like I’m about to be productive even though I’ve just spent all day playing pool with foreigners via iPhone. I guess you win this round binge watchers.

It’s just too much of a commitment. I know it’d be good for me to watch some of these shows; I’ve had people start conversations with me by saying things like, “Have you seen Downtown Abbey?” and I’ll be like “I think it’s Downton, not town,” and they’ll be like, “Yeah! Downton Abbey, you’ve seen it?” “Nope…” “Oh…” Then silence because the conversation is now over.

….

Someone needs to create a sort of “Cliff Notes for TV Shows” thang where they compile all the main points of a series into a lengthy one-stop movie, or give an episode guide where if you “watch these 12 episodes you’ll at least be able to hold your own in conversation.” I have no intention of making this happen so please, steal the idea and do it for me and others of my kind.

Until then, I’ve seen all of Breaking Bad and Firefly and Lucky Louie. That’s about it. And I’m all caught up with Louie, Shameless, House of Cards and Homeland. So please talk about those shows with me so I can feel more like an insider.

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