A miniaturized version of me is currently in a display case outside of Uniqlo at the Beverly Center in Los Angeles. You can go see it if you’re in town! Pretty cool I think. I was walking by the store in San Francisco a couple months ago (as I get all my pants there, so totally great they be) and I saw some kind of photoshoot going on. I’m much more confident than I used to be so I casually approached the woman working the booth and I was like “Hey….what’s goin on?” She giggled and started undressing for me in public, which would have been weird had she actually done that, but she DID tell me to come back the next day at noon and she’ll squeeze me in (to the photo line, not her body) despite their having already fully booked these photoshoots. I felt so charismatic. The next day I went back, they fitted me up in some of their fancy clothes, I walked into a big stall with about 50 Canon 5D (or something expensive like that) cameras all around me, I posed and they all flashed at once. *FLASH* (that was my impression of all the cameras flashing (imagine jazz hands as I say it in a loud whisper…*FLASHHH* see?) (and in case you’re wondering, yes it was awesome)). Afterward I looked at the photo and exclaimed, “I hate it!!! Can we do it again???” And we did…………. *FLASHH* I still hated it but didn’t wanna be “that guy” and reveal my flaws in front of strangers. They said they’ll 3D print my image and put it on display in the store, and they did! It was supposed to be in SF, but it’s in LA…if you didn’t get that from the first sentence of this post—you may have forgotten, as that first sentence was oh so long ago. In the photo you’ll notice a name tag with my full name and job title on it. Had I known that it would be in LA instead of SF I would have put my job title as “greatest actor ever that you should always cast always” but oh well. I get to keep the figurine after the holidays; I’ll give it to the parents so it’s like I’m living there again. They can talk to it and tell it all their stories, and it won’t be distracted on an iPhone as they do! More photos below if you give a care. (I hate that phrase “I don’t give a care.” It just sounds soo….Christian….” Photos below if you give a goddamn:
So jealous of the figurine as it never has bad hair days:
Closeup. I mean.. it’s pretty legit:
I put this on Instagram and used the caption: “I’ve got my back.” It got 27 LIKES!!! That’s sadly a lot for me:
Endblog. Like endgame, but for blogs.