Meet Frank, the petrified orange

It was only a matter of time before my citric companion made it to the blog. Meet Frank, the petrified orange.

Frank

Frank

He was gifted to me by our marketing and sales assistant Maddy St. Clair in October 2008. She thought it had gone bad since it had hardened to nearly rock-solid, but now, more than 6 months later … Frank lives on…

For months I have been staring at this anomaly, contemplating its purpose in life. I’ve actually gone so far as looking up pictures of moldy oranges online, just to remind myself that yes, they’re supposed to rot. Frank doesn’t rot. Oh no … Since I’ve kept him on my desk he has lost a lot of mass; very light now. You can still squeeze him as hard as you can and not even dent the skin. He used to smell like an orange. Not so much anymore … BUT … it doesn’t smell BAD!

I should take it on a trip with me across some border, so that when they say “Are you traveling with any fruits or vegetables?” I’ll hold up Frank and say, “You tell me.”

I’m getting a bit worried. I’m just waiting for the day when it explodes with maggots and disease, but after 6 WHOLE MONTHS—MOLD doesn’t even wanna eat this thing! Something ain’t right here…

It’s from Australia. Riversun Exports to be exact. It’s a navel orange, number 4012. They’ve obviously injected it with something to preserve it on its trip to America. Am I nuts? Is this type of behavior considered normal with Australian citrus? I sure don’t want to eat anything from this place after befriending one of their specimens…

I’m not sure what to do with this thing. I’m going to wait a year then try and break something with it … or dissect it like a mad scientist … or just keep it in a jar for eternity …but one thing’s for sure, this piece of former fruit is not obeying the rules appertaining to the circle of life. Perhaps it’s a sign … pigs are flying, oranges are petrifying, hell should be freezing over any day now…

I named him Frank. He’s my petrified orange … Don’t judge me.

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One thought on “Meet Frank, the petrified orange

  1. Hello! I find your blog quite interesting. You see we(the ladies of the office) have a petrified orange as well. LeRoy, was here when I started here(2006). My boss can’t remember when exactly LeRoy came into existance he always just kinda been here. Today we decided to break LeRoy open and I was curious if there were other petrified oranges so I Googled it and found your blog. I would like to send you pics if that’s okay with you.

    Like

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