Fare thee well, Maddy St. Clair!

Bye Maddy! You're the greatest!!! :-D

Bye Maddy! You're the greatest!!! πŸ˜€

When I began working at Solano Magazine in October 2007 (WOW!) Magdalena (Maddy) St. Clair was instantly my new best friend, well, best WORK friend πŸ™‚ I know it’s not right to pick favorites … but … if it was life or death I’d pick YOU Maddy!!! (Don’t worry, readers, the other staffers could really care less. πŸ™‚ )

This is simply a formal farewell to the loss of a great co-worker. She’s moving on to bigger and better things. The ONLY reason I accept her departure is because she promised to support my comedy endeavors in the future So thanks in advance for that! Her last day is Friday, sadly I won’t be there as I’m departing to VEGAS (woot!). If I win big, Maddy, I’ll give you five whole dollars! πŸ™‚ Hey, it’s the least I could do! Well, I guess $0.01 is the least I could do. Maybe I’ll just get her a shot glass or something…

Goodbye Maddy! The office won’t be the same without you!

::what’s the emoticon for a hug???::

(((Maddy)))

%^D

p.s. The photo above was taken at the Blue Frog Grog & Grill in Fairfield, CA. Gotta love their stuffed mushrooms and Hefeweizen!!! All day … every day … mMmMmMmMmmmm.

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Hippie heffers

I have some family friends in the Suisun Valley area, Chris and John Pray, that have a great hunk of land out there. I visit on occasion and last time I went I was halted by the Scottish Highland Cattle (aka “kyloe” according to wikipedia.org) that live on the property.

Hairy cows! I would tip them, but I don't wanna mess up their "do" ... maybe if I brought some hair gel ... LOTS of hair gel. Imagining that makes me laugh.

Hairy cows! I would tip them, but I don't wanna mess up their "do" ... maybe if I brought some hair gel ... LOTS of hair gel.

Uh oh, I've been spotted! That's Hilary. By the size of her horns you can be sure she's the dominant member of the group. It is quite fitting that she's named after Mrs. Clinton.

Uh oh, I've been spotted! That's Hillary. By the size of her horns you can be sure she's the dominant member of the group. It is quite fitting that she's named after our Secretary of State.

What's this!?!? OH ... VERY mature Hillary. Stick your tongue out at ME will ya ... well try THIS on for size: :-P HA! Didn't wanna have to do that. What's that? YOU WANT MORE!?!?! Oh ... she's eating ... well ... this is embarassing ...

OH! ... VERY mature Hillary. Stick your tongue out at ME will ya ... well try THIS on for size: 8-P HA! Didn't wanna have to do that. What's that? YOU WANT MORE!?!?! Well there's PLENTY more where THAT came fr... oh ... she's eating ... well ... this is embarrassing ...

This is the baby steer, Angel. So meek, so timid, so "in his place." One day Angel! You'll be BIG! I promise. Just like Tom Hanks.

This is the baby steer, Angel. So meek, so timid, so "put in his place." One day Angel, you'll be BIG! I promise. Just like Tom Hanks.

I was looking around for Lucille who suddenly disappeared. And then, out of the corner of my eye … ::(gasp!)::

How'd you like to see THIS in your driver's side mirror? Lucille is a "formidable redhead named after Lucille Ball," says Chris.

How'd you like to see THIS in your driver's side mirror? Lucille is a "formidable redhead named after Lucille Ball," says Chris.

Here's a lone Hillary in her habitat with a fantastic view of Solano County.

In the distance you'll find a lone Hillary in her habitat with a fantastic view of Solano County. Joy.

Despite their very large stature, these creatures are rather gentle. “Extremely gentle with something wonderful in your hand to eat,” says Chris. It seems these cattle will eat anything, including poison oak. Something that makes the Scottish Highland Cattle even more unique in addition to their long flowing locks. Umm … not much else to say about these cows, other than that they are fun to watch and have great personalities. They remind me of really big dogs … if dogs had horns.

Paragliders Anonymous

Lately, I’ve noticed something on my drive to work. There’s a certain spot in Vallejo where people seem to like hanging out. Nothing out of the ordinary, except for the fact that they’re hanging out … in mid-air!!! For what seems like hours on end…

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's ... a human?

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's ... a human?

I’m so jealous. I want to join! Take me with you!!! There was only one paraglider on the day I finally managed to have a camera on hand, but in the past I’ve seen maybe 3-5 at a time. Quite an amazing site to see, actually. You can find them on Columbus Pkwy. just across from Solano College’s Vallejo campus. I started to drive up St. John’s Mine Road to try and meet these paragliders. There was a sign at the bottom of the hill that said “No Trespassers” and I thought ‘Hey, I’m a journalist … taking risks is what I do!’ But then, after driving maybe half a mile up a winding road, there was a big sign that said: “Trespassers will be ARRESTED.” Yeah … a little too risky for me, especially with two speeding tickets under my belt in the last month πŸ˜› I couldn’t turn around since there wasn’t any space so I put it in neutral and coasted back down the twists and turns in reverse. I was proud of myself when I reached the end.

In conclusion, I left my card in their “Paraglider News” box at the bottom of the hill. I hope they call! (707) 428-4440. (Ask for Matt Larson :-)) Until then, I shall gaze at this awesome hobby? activity? sport? … with desperate envy:

So peaceful ... so eco-friendly ... it's no Willy-Wonka-flying elevator, but darn close.

So peaceful ... so eco-friendly ... it's no Willy Wonka flying elevator, but darn close! One day... that'll be me! I hope... (707-428-4440!) πŸ˜€

Meet Frank, the petrified orange

It was only a matter of time before my citric companion made it to the blog. Meet Frank, the petrified orange.

Frank

Frank

He was gifted to me by our marketing and sales assistant Maddy St. Clair in October 2008. She thought it had gone bad since it had hardened to nearly rock-solid, but now, more than 6 months later … Frank lives on…

For months I have been staring at this anomaly, contemplating its purpose in life. I’ve actually gone so far as looking up pictures of moldy oranges online, just to remind myself that yes, they’re supposed to rot. Frank doesn’t rot. Oh no … Since I’ve kept him on my desk he has lost a lot of mass; very light now. You can still squeeze him as hard as you can and not even dent the skin. He used to smell like an orange. Not so much anymore … BUT … it doesn’t smell BAD!

I should take it on a trip with me across some border, so that when they say “Are you traveling with any fruits or vegetables?” I’ll hold up Frank and say, “You tell me.”

I’m getting a bit worried. I’m just waiting for the day when it explodes with maggots and disease, but after 6 WHOLE MONTHSβ€”MOLD doesn’t even wanna eat this thing! Something ain’t right here…

It’s from Australia. Riversun Exports to be exact. It’s a navel orange, number 4012. They’ve obviously injected it with something to preserve it on its trip to America. Am I nuts? Is this type of behavior considered normal with Australian citrus? I sure don’t want to eat anything from this place after befriending one of their specimens…

I’m not sure what to do with this thing. I’m going to wait a year then try and break something with it … or dissect it like a mad scientist … or just keep it in a jar for eternity …but one thing’s for sure, this piece of former fruit is not obeying the rules appertaining to the circle of life. Perhaps it’s a sign … pigs are flying, oranges are petrifying, hell should be freezing over any day now…

I named him Frank. He’s my petrified orange … Don’t judge me.