MORE goats!

Okay so I guess these goats are now a part of my neighborhood. Yay.

This blog will simply be a pictorial. I drove home the other day and saw these:

If that was my house, and I had a dog ... I'd be pissed ...

If that was my house, and I had a barking dog ... I'd be mildly irate ...

I spy, with my little eye: LOTS OF GOATS!

I spy, with my little eye: LOTS OF GOATS!

I had to run up and check them out, but they all ran away 'cuz I'm a big scary human

I had to run up and check them out, but they all ran away ‘cuz I’m a big scary human
I named this one Billy.

I named this one Billie.

oooOOOooo—Special Effects! %^D

oooOOOooo—Special Effects! %^D

Okay, time to leave. Bye goats! (Hey! They look like sprinkles on doughnut mountain!) ...

Okay, time to leave. Bye goats! (Hey! They look like sprinkles on doughnut mountain!) ...

Well, that was fun. I thought that my run in with the goats had ceased, but then, last night, upon driving home … eerie:

Silence of the Goats

Silence of the Goats

I don't know why, but documenting this felt illegal...

I don't know why, but documenting this felt illegal...

These guys were my friends. They said Billy's doing well.

These guys were my friends. They said Billie's doing well.

Alright, that’s it. I may find more, but pictures of goats just get … questionable … after a while. These next two pics are just for fun. When I was figuring out how to take night shots with my camera, if you look closely, you can see lots of creepy goat eyes:

You can see them on the right. I spy 5 sets and two singles

You can see them on the right. I spy 7 sets and two singles

AAAhahahahha! Look at their eyes! It's like they're robots ... GOAT robots ... Gobots ... Okay, I'm done.

AAAhahahahha! Look at their eyes! It's like they're robots ... GOAT robots ... Gobots ... Okay, I'm done.

Goats!

If I had a dime for every time I woke up with hundreds of goats walking up my street, I’d have 10 whole cents. This is what I saw when I looked out my window this morning:

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GOATS!

Then I looked the other way, and saw this:

Is that goat eating my foliage? Lame...

MORE GOATS! And one of them's eating my foliage! ... Lame...

Then I went outside, and snapped this blurry photo, perhaps adding to the effect:

It's an amorphous goat blob! Run for the hills!

It's an amorphous goat blob! Run for the hills! er ... AWAY from the hills!!!

Once they left, I noticed something. Well … LOTS of someTHINGS … words just can’t explain:

The aftermath :'(

The aftermath 😥

Those goat bastards! Are they literally crapping 24/7 ? Don’t they ever take a break?! That is some efficient digestion … blech … I didn’t know what to do! How could I leave the house? I sure wasn’t driving ANYwhere in thAT mess … Was someone going to clean it up? Once all the goats were cleared a city bus drove down the street, which was kinda funny. But then some poor guy in a Land Rover came passing through, totally clueless.

Silence.

Suddenly, I heard a loud rumble in the distance. I must say, I was quite relieved to see this:

Talk about a crap job

Talk about a crap job

There he is! The sweeper! Coming up the hill like a majestic crap-infested angel. He waved to me and everything, but left quite an image behind him:

Streakmarks! My street turned into one huge goat diaper

Streakmarks! (hahaha)

hillSo what were these goats doing here? I almost wish I hadn’t run into my neighbor the other day who told me this hill (right) was covered in goats and the street had been closed off for crap cleaning, because then the shock this morning would have been tenfold! Oh well, it was still a nice … well … interesting surprise.

These goats were obviously being used to “mow” the grass on said hill, perhaps as a “green” or “eco-friendly” means of landscaping. But after the goats walked up my street, and shat all over it, the sweeper must have driven up and down the hill in his big diesel-powered truck 10 times to clean it all up! Doesn’t that kinda defeat the purpose?

WELL … it turns out, upon speaking with the city, this was more of an “experiment” than anything. They are simply looking for the MOST efficient means of incorporating these goats as regular visitors to the Vallejo’s open space areas—no procedures are yet set in stone. Goats R Us in Orinda actually donated this 3-4 week service for free to help out the city of Vallejo. So not only are these goats environmentally friendly, but they’re communally friendly as well. Aww … :’ )

Check out the article at: solanomag.com

Musicals

Blech… that’s all I have to say. I’m a theater arts major from Chico State. I’ve seen a fair share of musicals. Blech…

Not that the execution is bad, or the actors are poor, just the spectacle of it all is so contrived. It’s not real. How would everyone know to break into song at the same time, dance in unison and sing the same words all for the “very first time?” The only musical that makes sense to me is A Chorus Line. I was in Vallejo Music Theatre‘s production in the summer of 200 … 4? Anyway, there is no unnecessary singing and dancing in that show because the dancers have been trained to sing and dance in unison for a reason, in order to sing and dance in unison for NO reason in the show they’re auditioning for. Does this make sense?

The men, drooling over the women

The men, drooling over the women

Anyway, I just saw How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (above) at Solano College Theatre, and despite my distaste for musicals in general, I must say I was thoroughly entertained. The male chauvinist undertones (well, overtones … “grab ass” office etiquette was pretty apparent in this one), but that relationship to women in the workplace is a bit obsolete. I’m not too familiar with the show Mad Men, but I think this could be the musical version of that. Anyway, Solano College did a very good job with it. I suggest supporting these live theaters as much as possible. People really put a lot of time and energy into putting these shows together … yay …

Righteousness

RELIGION! Simply uttering the word invokes a visceral reaction to some degree in all of us. To me I just respond “Oh yeah, that exists in the world.” I’m a bit indifferent. I see it for both its positive and negative attributes. Many people use it as an honest guide to a wholesome life, while others take advantage of it to justify acts of selfishness. Religion has never been an integral part of my life. I was raised Jewish in that we lit the menorah at Hanukkah time and mother said the prayer. (We also always had a Christmas tree every year. Not for religious purposes. But Christmas is fun! Something to look forward to. It doesn’t have to be a “celebration,” but rather an exciting family event. My response to the skeptics: Why the hell not?) So in practice: not very Jewish at all. I think I still have a yarmulke from the few times I attended Sunday school as a child. Yeah, that’s all I got.

Growing up I would always tell people I was Jewish, and would promptly check “Jew” on any demographic Scantron I came across in school, but I never quite understood it. My parents said I was Jewish, so I was Jewish. I never read the literature, or studied the culture—I never needed to! I just had the title. Something about that just doesn’t seem … responsible.

I decided years ago that until I took the time to sit down and respectfully read the Old Testament, exclaiming Judaism would be an empty statement. Furthermore, it seems only fair to read ALL the books of faith to truly decide which set of rules, if any, I should abide by for the rest of my life. Therefore, I declare myself agnostic—the belief that all is possible, but we as humans have not enough knowledge to understand the true nature of the afterlife. I don’t deny any religion as untrue, but I don’t accept any either. That seems fair to me.

Here’s an interesting battle of righteousness between two religious organizations, confirming that there are no absolutes in this world, unless you’re speaking in terms of opinion:

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